Home Play Support Products Blog Volunteer

Apology


#1

Dear Lifeboat and it’s Community.

This is my apology to everybody. If you were involved or not, if you knew who I was months back or not, if you even are aware of who I am or not - it doesn’t matter as I believe all users deserve to hear what I have to say. I do wish this topic gets left alone unless something happens in which necessary action needs to take place, however if this does get unlisted or locked I will not be chasing anyone around and begging them to allow this to be viewable. This will not be like my last topic, but rather it will be confronting my own wrong doings. I am not seeking forgiveness, nor am I asking to be given one last opportunity - I just want this to be heard so I can leave peacefully. This will be very long like the last one but I believe this is a time for us all to be reflective based on what happened only a week ago.

Who am I? My name is SparklesB but you may call me Melissa if you desire, and I am currently fourteen. I was quite a well known moderator back in 2016/2017 before resigning however I decided to come back only a year later. I’ve always been known as a bubbly and outgoing person, in fact I would always get messages from people telling me how much they looked up to me. However this all changed last week when I decided to post criticism that unleashed my inner anger onto Lifeboat, sparking a riot and causing me to lose my once positive reputation. I was given false hope, like everybody else - I believed that maybe if I voiced our opinions and spoke on behalf of everyone maybe Lifeboat can perhaps change. It was like a dream come true, and oh so wrong was I once Lifeboat caught onto me. For days I begged, reasoned, suggested, and ranted like some child wanting pure attention. I looked like an absolute buffoon.

These past few days have been extremely rough for me. I’ve been drowning in guilt and shame once I realised I was only used for somebody’s benefit; an object that could easily be thrown away once no longer useful. People have been pouring hate onto me via messages, some said that they should stay away from me once they realised I was Sparkles, and little even took the time to make me feel worthless. Out of too much stress, I left everything. My discord username was changed to ‘I am the bad guy.’ and even my forums bio was as well. I believed this was all my fault, and despite my closest friends telling me otherwise they couldn’t see how I was truly feeling.

The “criticism” I gave was nothing but a rant like any other, nothing special other than it being posted publicly. If I could go back to that topic and erase it from existence, I would. I was told not to post it unless told otherwise, and while I don’t want to be that person blaming another I do believe that it was because they wanted it to be the way it was. Hateful and blaming. I claimed it was peaceful however deep down inside I knew it wasn’t, I couldn’t bring myself to admit it. So when the time came, I asked everyone to stop like the coward I was. Being the “leader” of all this put a lot of stress on my shoulders, I was asked to take over and when the time came - they ran away and went against me.

So what do I have to say that will make things better? Probably nothing because the damage was already done. However that will not stop me from saying ** sorry **. I was stupid, immature and failed to open my eyes when there was still a chance to turn things around. From the bottom of my heart, for all these months of voluntary work and helping every one of you, from all the fantastic experiences we all got to share together - I am ** sorry ** as said again. This does not excuse the fact that what I did was wrong, in fact nothing can. There is no room left for me to change as already my true colors have been shown. I have changed into a villain and nothing is going to make me better now.

I have decided I will not be contributing any more to this wonderful community nor the Lifeboat team. I am aware that I will no longer be wanted back nor given a second chance, I am no longer a good example for trainees/future volunteers. I am grateful to have been here and for all the love I was given over the years. Without all of this I believe I would be nothing but another human, you are all the reason I felt special and forever will you all will have a place in my heart. I will be hiding in the shadows and become history. I messed up, and this is what I have to deal with now, no need to feel guilty. I deserve this.

This time I most likely won’t be coming back unless something out the bloom makes me. But until that time comes, this is goodbye.

Kind regards.
SparklesB.


#2

Thanks for the apology, I and the forum team appreciate it. Chaotic rants are not very helpful in supporting your feedback positively, as I’m sure you’ve noticed. That being said, your feedback was taken into consideration, and we are changing a few major things in the volunteer program. More to come on that in the future. But for now, hopefully you’ve learned a lesson in how to effectively communicate.

We would love to have you stay on the forums and continue to participate in the discussions we have, particularly because you offered some helpful criticism in the entire mess. But of course if you want to leave, that’s your decision. Thanks for your hard work as a volunteer!


#3

I appreciate that you came back to say sorry and apologized to us, and the rest of the team. It’s good to see that you understood and knew what you was done wrong, and I (my opinion), accept your apology. I hope that everyone else decides to do the same. Not everyone can keep a grudge on someone forever, that’s near impossible.

It’s always best to apologize and make up.


#4

People have got to apologize at some point of their lives… It’s normal. Maybe I’ll have to apologize too if my trolling goes too far.

Anyway, when I first met you, I knew you were a kind, friendly and honest person. I want to say that you have a bright future towards you, which I and everyone can easily tell towards the way you type and communicate, even when I was with you in the volunteer program you were very professional.

If you need any assistance in the future, I can give you my contact information via DM.


Apology
#5

There’s of course people who won’t forgive you for your faults, but I’m sure they could put that as history and make a better one with you. I truly appreciate your apology, mistakes happen and we learn from them. I forgive you. You aren’t a bad guy, you just made a mistake that did damage but realized the mistake and fixed it.
I would personally love you to continue contributing in forums, discord, etc.


#6

Mmmmmmmmmm…
I’ve got nothing. Lol.
I wasn’t gonna read all dat… it’s almost night time and I’m tired…


#7

Your choice. I’m not going to beg you to read it.


#8

You’re confusing… all I said was I wasn’t gonna read all dat. Lol.
But I’m doing opposite right now…


#9

Took me couple of minutes to read that. Not that long.

You’ll know what I mean if you have read Harry Potter books. xD


#10

I read it! WOOO! I did it!!!
My eyes burn.


#11

I’m really glad to see this. I understand where you were coming from and what you were trying to do when you made that topic, but it wasn’t done the right way and I’m glad you recognize that. Some might say too little too late, but I think most of us can understand. We all make mistakes, some big and some small, and learning from those mistakes is all a part of life.

Sometimes, when we are mad or upset, we say things we don’t really mean or we say them in a way that gets misunderstood. While you made a mistake I think there are some really good things that will come out of it, and you shouldn’t regret that.

We have had our own little rough patches, but I am thankful I got a chance to know you better while you were in the volenteer team. I truly believe that you would never wish for anything bad to happen to Lifeboat or anyone here and I really hope that you won’t leave. You are an important part of this community, mistakes or not, and no one could fill the void that you would leave if you quit for good. However, you have to do what feels right for you, and if leaving is what feels right for you, you should do it.


#12

I really honestly don’t regret a thing I did. Lol.


#13

Glad to see you’re moving on to more important things in life.


#14

:+1:


#15

You don’t need to put yourself down a lot just because of the wrong thing you’ve done… it would cause more damage and it will grow time to time if you keep considering it as big as a crime. Stop thinking negatively, be positive, we want the old SparklesB the Llama Queen back! We don’t want a friend to leave the server with bad memories, we want our friends to leave with good memories, so please, stop thinking negatively and let it go. Sparkles, remember the happy moments you had here, not the bad ones, let the bad memory be buried in its grave, let the good memories stay.


#16

reminds me of someone hmmmmmmMMMMMMMMMMMM


#17

We can comprehend (understand) what you’ve been through, and being manipulated (used) by someone to create a huge “riot” on the community you once loved and utterly (absolutely) turning against all the volunteers, leads, Rein and Developers… If I or some other user were you, I don’t think they would apologize to the whole community like this, It was a humongous (huge) wrangle (argument), it turned numerous (many) users against LifeBoat community and everyone started blaming everything on the volunteer team, which made many volunteers a bit angry (not really) and made leads to disregard (ignore) you all to an extent. But, then when it was just burgeoning (spreading/increase rapidly) then they had to step up, it still goes for days… But it finally ended up. It turns out that Storm was the one behind all this master plan. To be frank (honest), your few criticism wasn’t bad, in fact they helped us to ameliorate (improve) many things. I wouldn’t blame storm for everything or any Ex-Volunteers, you all did your parts to ameliorate the community but in a bad way. But then, I never seen a valorous (courageous) person like you. Veneration (great respect)

I inadvertently (accidentally) replied to Kaleb OOF.

To all: Yeah, I know my vocabulary is a bit high and I told everyone, that I won’t use it again, but hey! I put the meanings in the bracket, just to make things a bit easier, if you find any problem in any of these words, feel free to dm me or just google it, you know :wink:


#18

We arent too imbecilic to ken the sesquipedalians definitions


#19

U talk too big, talk like normal person pleese :wink:


#20

What do you mean?